Having a low sex drive is unfortunately a common complaint that I encounter daily from female patients, but luckily it can be fixed. Some people think that a low sex drive is a normal thing and they choose to do nothing. But the smart people realize that a low sex drive is unhealthy, both mentally and physically. When you are in a relationship, having a healthy sexual relationship is important to the health of your overall relationship. A healthy sex life leads to an improved closeness with your partner and a better self image.
What can you do to improve your sex drive?? First and foremost you must feel good about yourself. Make sure that you exercise on a regular basis. If you are not used to exercising, start small. The important thing is to get moving. Exercising helps to give you a positive self-image. If you are having difficulty with your weight than you should be sure that your thyroid hormone is optimized. Eating a balanced diet full of vegetables helps your body and your mind. If you are finding that no matter what you do, you have negative thoughts towards your body; then I advise working with a counselor or someone who does bio-feedback or energy work.
The second thing that is critical for a healthy sex drive is to take time for you. Yes, take time out to relax and enjoy life. I understand that life gets busy, but you are the most important reason that you are alive. You can not take care of anyone else in your life if you do not take care of you. Schedule it into your calendar and dedicate some time every day for you, even if it is just a few minutes of deep breathing. It is also important to schedule get away vacations with your partner. Stress diminishes the sex drive so do whatever it takes to better handle the stressful world that we live in. Deep breathing exercises, yoga, regular exercise, doing hobbies, taking vacations, reading, getting a massage, etc are all ways to relax.
I also advise buying some sexy lingerie. It does not matter what you think you look like in them. Get some underwear that is pretty, not just functional. Your partner will appreciate the effort and if he does not, then it is time for the counselor! But even if he does not appreciate it, do this for you. Wearing lacy underwear and a pretty matching bra, etc. goes a long way to helping you to feel sexy. Buy something a little outside your comfort zone, not far enough that you will not wear it but far enough that it pushes you to do something different. This will go far in boosting your self image and confidence.
Low Testosterone is a common culprit for a low sex drive. I advise that you get your Testosterone checked and optimized if you are struggling with your sex drive; especially if you are also have other symptoms such as fat gain/muscle loss, more aches/pains, mental fogginess, night/day sweats, etc.
Unfortunately the insurance industry does not understand that low Testosterone in women can lead to chronic health problems such as osteoporosis, dementia, heart disease, etc. Thus, optimizing your Testosterone level is done outside of your insurance. However, I have never found this to be a problem. When something helps you to feel good about yourself and enhances your relationship, people find a way to pay for it. I even had one patient tell me that her husband would rather lose the house than not pay for her Testosterone pellet therapy. True story!
The bottom line is that if your life is being affected by a low sex drive, then you need to do something about it. You do not have to just live with it.